Post by Unokins on Apr 10, 2015 19:01:25 GMT
Hey! This is just going to be a thing where I post about how to be friendly to any LGBTQ+ people who may join.
I think many people already know a lot about sexuality, and the main focus of this is going to be trans friendly language.
After talking with several friends, I realized that googling for trans resources, while helpful, might take some time. So I'll just compile some important things here. This is mainly for OOC and writer knowledge. In a cisnormative/heteronormative world, characters can be ignorant. That is okay. But I don't want to see microagressions in character profiles or ooc chatter. So. Let's begin.
~Trans, not trans*
The * was used to include drag queens and cross dressers. As they identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, they are cis.
~DFAB/DMAB, AFAB/AMAB, biology
Those stand for 'designated female at birth,' 'designated male at birth,' 'assigned female at birth,' 'assigned male at birth.' People are not born with gender. It is given to them.
Do not say 'biologically female' or 'biologically male.' It ties into gendering genitalia, covered below. DFAB, DMAB work well when you want to say what gender they were given at birth.
You can also use terms like cis man, cis woman, trans man, trans woman, non-binary when describing a character. Do not say they are pretending to be another gender. They are not. They ARE that gender.
~Pronouns are important
If someone asks for pronouns, please don't write it off as silly or unneeded. Even if you have a cis character, please share their pronouns. It helps normalize people sharing pronouns, and can make things a lot more comfortable for trans people. On that note, pronouns are not gendered. Do not say 'male pronouns' when you really mean 'he/him.' Do not say 'female pronouns' when you mean 'she/her.' Non-binary people use he/him and she/her, so gendering them is erasing the nonbinary person's identity.
~Do not connect gender with genitalia
There are women with penises. There are men with vaginas. There are people with no gender with a penis or vagina. Saying things like, or implying, 'men have penises' (for example) is transphobic. You can say just as easily 'people with vaginas.' It is a LOT more trans inclusive and you will make it feel a lot safer for trans people. (I know I feel a whole lot better when people say 'people who get periods' instead of 'ladies who are on your period.')
~There are more than two genders
'Both genders,' 'either gender,' and 'two genders' erases the people who do not fall into the binary. Don't do it. Instead, say 'all genders,' 'another gender,' ect.
~If you are called out for saying something transphobic...
Don't make a big deal out of it. Apologize, correct your post, move on. Chances are I'm not even angry. Mistakes happen, and ignorance is a thing. We grow up, we move on. There's no need to blow up.
~Don't ask invasive questions
Please. For the love of all that is holy and good, do not ask invasive questions about their body, looks, ect. It is none of your business. I have become extremely uncomfortable when people have asked about whether or not I've had the surgery, and my love life, and my sexuality. It is not fun.
~Do not treat passing as cis as the end all be all
We are not gatekeepers. There is no measurement on how trans someone is.
~Never ever EVER feel pressured to out yourself or state your gender
Please accept if someone doesn't want to say. There is a LOT of pressure for trans people out there to conform to certain gender roles, and fear of being not accepted is insanely high sometimes. Trust me, I feel it constantly. NEVER feel like you have to state your gender, or defend your gender. I know in the introduction I give my gender as a trans person. You DO NOT have to do this! Don't worry about it! I want this to be a safe place for all genders!
~Pronouns =/= Gender
Because pronouns have no gender, please don't assume that stating your gender is the same as stating your pronouns! Sharing your pronouns is a lot different than stating your gender and assuming people will know what your pronouns are from that. Not only that, but it normalizes asking about pronouns, and uproots the idea that pronouns are geared for one gender.
I think many people already know a lot about sexuality, and the main focus of this is going to be trans friendly language.
After talking with several friends, I realized that googling for trans resources, while helpful, might take some time. So I'll just compile some important things here. This is mainly for OOC and writer knowledge. In a cisnormative/heteronormative world, characters can be ignorant. That is okay. But I don't want to see microagressions in character profiles or ooc chatter. So. Let's begin.
~Trans, not trans*
The * was used to include drag queens and cross dressers. As they identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, they are cis.
~DFAB/DMAB, AFAB/AMAB, biology
Those stand for 'designated female at birth,' 'designated male at birth,' 'assigned female at birth,' 'assigned male at birth.' People are not born with gender. It is given to them.
Do not say 'biologically female' or 'biologically male.' It ties into gendering genitalia, covered below. DFAB, DMAB work well when you want to say what gender they were given at birth.
You can also use terms like cis man, cis woman, trans man, trans woman, non-binary when describing a character. Do not say they are pretending to be another gender. They are not. They ARE that gender.
~Pronouns are important
If someone asks for pronouns, please don't write it off as silly or unneeded. Even if you have a cis character, please share their pronouns. It helps normalize people sharing pronouns, and can make things a lot more comfortable for trans people. On that note, pronouns are not gendered. Do not say 'male pronouns' when you really mean 'he/him.' Do not say 'female pronouns' when you mean 'she/her.' Non-binary people use he/him and she/her, so gendering them is erasing the nonbinary person's identity.
~Do not connect gender with genitalia
There are women with penises. There are men with vaginas. There are people with no gender with a penis or vagina. Saying things like, or implying, 'men have penises' (for example) is transphobic. You can say just as easily 'people with vaginas.' It is a LOT more trans inclusive and you will make it feel a lot safer for trans people. (I know I feel a whole lot better when people say 'people who get periods' instead of 'ladies who are on your period.')
~There are more than two genders
'Both genders,' 'either gender,' and 'two genders' erases the people who do not fall into the binary. Don't do it. Instead, say 'all genders,' 'another gender,' ect.
~If you are called out for saying something transphobic...
Don't make a big deal out of it. Apologize, correct your post, move on. Chances are I'm not even angry. Mistakes happen, and ignorance is a thing. We grow up, we move on. There's no need to blow up.
~Don't ask invasive questions
Please. For the love of all that is holy and good, do not ask invasive questions about their body, looks, ect. It is none of your business. I have become extremely uncomfortable when people have asked about whether or not I've had the surgery, and my love life, and my sexuality. It is not fun.
~Do not treat passing as cis as the end all be all
We are not gatekeepers. There is no measurement on how trans someone is.
~Never ever EVER feel pressured to out yourself or state your gender
Please accept if someone doesn't want to say. There is a LOT of pressure for trans people out there to conform to certain gender roles, and fear of being not accepted is insanely high sometimes. Trust me, I feel it constantly. NEVER feel like you have to state your gender, or defend your gender. I know in the introduction I give my gender as a trans person. You DO NOT have to do this! Don't worry about it! I want this to be a safe place for all genders!
~Pronouns =/= Gender
Because pronouns have no gender, please don't assume that stating your gender is the same as stating your pronouns! Sharing your pronouns is a lot different than stating your gender and assuming people will know what your pronouns are from that. Not only that, but it normalizes asking about pronouns, and uproots the idea that pronouns are geared for one gender.